How to Find Out What Is Right for You in Life, Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation and The School System
Jan 22, 2025
"Study what brings you joy."
"Work in a field that makes you happy."
“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius
After finishing school, I actively set out to figure out how to make this a reality in my own life.
In order to truly do what you love—while staying aligned with your personal goals, dreams, and visions—it is essential that your work resonates with your intrinsic motivation, values, and authentic self. Children naturally possess this intrinsic motivation, setting their own tasks that genuinely resonate with them. However, this is often trained out of them in school.
Instead of fostering children’s enthusiasm for the topics they choose themselves, tasks are typically assigned by others, often for subjects that do not personally appeal to most students. To ensure compliance, there is frequent mention of negative consequences (e.g., bad grades), thereby creating extrinsic motivation (or pressure). This process essentially “trains” children not to set their own tasks and teaches them that tasks are always assigned externally—much like a machine that only provides input and output. Over time, this can lead children to stop pursuing their original dreams and visions, even altering their self-perception and causing them to identify with a self-image different from their authentic selves.
Ironically, by the time students graduate, they are suddenly told: “Follow your intrinsic motivation and work independently!”
However, undoing this pattern and returning as an adult to one’s authentic self and natural motivation requires a great deal of self-reflection and personal work.
In my observation, many people do not want or are unable to devote the time and energy required for this. Instead, they find it easier to jump right into the next system that offers extrinsic motivation and preassigned tasks—They are choosing a degree program primarily for reasons such as high salary, social status, or family expectations, rather than something that resonates with their multifaceted, authentic personality. This path usually leads to a job where superiors dictate what needs to be done. Only a few manage to return to self-determined tasks, intrinsic motivation, and the pursuit of their dreams and visions. Some may even consciously decide against it, no longer viewing themselves as someone who follows that path.
I, on the other hand, chose the initially more difficult route—reflecting deeply and engaging in extensive self-examination to shed this conditioned mindset.
My insights and experiences can be summed up in a principle that has proven effective not only in a professional context but in many other areas of life as well:
1. Always Give Your Best
Regardless of whether tasks are self-chosen or not, it’s beneficial to give your all, ensuring the experience of performing any activity is as authentic and intense as possible. Moreover, it should be your personal standard to complete every task diligently, thoroughly, and to a high standard of quality.
2. Stay in Good Contact with Your Authentic Self
If you remain closely connected to your intuition and genuine self, you’ll feel whether a particular activity or topic truly resonates with you. If it doesn’t, you may find yourself pushing through it with a “force-yourself” or “grit-your-teeth” mentality. This often leads to an inauthentic attitude, negatively affecting your self-image and the quality of your relationships with others. In such a case, it’s wise to learn from the experience and either change the task or at least the manner in which you approach it—or stop doing it altogether.
3. Trial and Error
By experimenting with different fields, topics, and methods, you gradually discover what genuinely suits you. As long as you don’t give up on this process, you will inevitably find something that truly aligns with who you are. At the same time, this process is never really over because everything—your environment, you, and other people—keeps evolving. It’s therefore advisable to continuously reassess your life situation, influences, and goals. Cultivating the ability to keep moving forward using the “trial and error” principle and never giving up is invaluable.
Following this path allows anyone to gradually break free from a system dominated by extrinsic motivation and instead find their own way—one that aligns with their individual, authentic self and thus leads to lasting joy, fulfillment, and success.